Two Wolves
A wolf lurks in the shadows
This is a story about life wisdom that originally comes from Cherokee peoples. This story might be a bit different than how you’ve heard it before.
One day, a chieftain told their grandchild of a great war. "A fight is going on inside me," they told the young one, "a fight between two wolves. A Wolf of Light, and a Wolf of Shadow”
“The Wolf of Shadow is troubled - they feel anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and they are ruled by ego. They act impulsively, are ruled by emotion, and act in selfish ways - trying to get their needs met in moments of pain and stress and panic." They continued, "The Wolf of Light is wise - they feel joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, and compassion. The same struggle is going on inside you grandchild… and inside of every other person on the face of this earth.”
The child ponders this for a long moment and then asks, "which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee chieftain simply replied, “If you feed them right, they can both win.” and the story goes on:
“You see, if I only choose to feed the Wolf of Light, the Wolf of Shadow will be hiding around every corner waiting for me to become distracted or weak and jump to get the attention they crave, to get their needs met. They will always be angry and will always fight the Wolf of Light, because they think there is not enough for both. And so they see their brother as the enemy. By choosing sides, we are choosing to be at war, continuing the myth that there is not enough.”
“The Wolf of Shadow is NOT evil. This wolf is not an enemy. This wolf is our brother, it is one of our guides, and it is just trying to survive. It’s needs are valid. It believes it will be forgotten and neglected and doesn’t know how to ask for what it needs with a belief those needs will be met. So, it has learned that fighting and deception is the only way to survive. If we acknowledge and validate those needs, that wolf can also feel good emotions and stop fighting over the fear of there not being enough, of them not being enough.
The Wolf of Shadow has many positive qualities hiding underneath — tenacity, resilience, courage, fearlessness, strong will and great strategic thinking. Sometimes, we need these skills. Especially when times are tough and we need to survive. These strengths complement the skills of the Wolf of Light; compassion, caring, wisdom, patience, and the ability to recognize what is in the best interest of all. To feed and care for both means they will serve you well and enable you to be part of something greater, something good, something towards life. Just like us, the wolves need companionship, and so we need both wolves.”
“Feed them both and there will be no more internal struggle for your attention. And when there is no battle inside, you can listen to the voices of deep wisdom that will guide you in choosing what is right in every circumstance.”
“Peace is the mission in life. A person who has peace inside has everything. A person who is pulled apart by the war inside them has nothing.”
So, how have you been choosing to feed your wolves?
Every day we make choices, important choices that could be overlooked as being trivial – but these choices define us. They are a statement of whom we choose to be in this life, and what impact we will have on the world around us. Even how we use language is so important, it creates and shapes our view of reality. Are you choosing the language you use, consciously? Are you aware of your relationships to your wolves?
For humans, it’s easier to procrastinate, lie, complain, dismiss, ignore, and give up. It is easier to feel bad for ourselves, and to blame others. To be violent, angry, sarcastic, armored. There is almost no effort required to do those things, they require no responsibility, and you’re getting a taste of instant gratification or relief in the moment. You may feel safe. But it is an illusion. Our needs are not really being met, just distracted, or the pain pushed back until later, where they will be bigger and harder to manage. It comes from desperation.
The image of the lone wolf is a myth. They act as vicious loners only when separated from the pack or put under extreme stress. By contrast, a nurtured wolf has a different approach. Wolves are cooperative by nature (and actually matriarchial in social structure). They spend much of the day caring for each other. They connect, learn, teach, inspire, share, develop, and stick to behaviors that ensure pack survival. They are still individuals, but they are part of something more. These things take energy, effort, vulnerability, and courage. The results can take more time to be seen and felt, it requires persistence. However, the effects last much longer and compound over your life, and actually create a sense of dependable safety – it is worth the work.
When we “act up”, we are trying to get our needs met in the ways we know how. The ways we may choose to act often have negative consequences. If we can understand what our needs are, and what is motivating our actions, and then use creativity and wisdom to solve them in a positive way. We can use mindfulness to get what we need and avoid the negative consequences. It takes hard work, but it is worth it! You become the result of the decisions you make, so choose to make your decisions wisely.
Two wolves, you can stop the war if you feed them both
