The Accordion
An exercise to calm overwhelming stress quickly
Have you ever had the experience of feeling really stressed out, like, so stressed that you feel like a balloon about to burst? It’s common, most of have been there at least once, if not more regularly. While it’s helpful to know that “this too shall pass”, it’s more helpful to have something to do about it in the moment. Enter “The Accordion”.
This was an exercise I learned while in grad school, attributed to the phenomenal Stanley Keleman, A pioneer in the space of understanding the connection between the body and the mind, and a revolutionary agent in advocating for us to listen to the wisdom of our bodies.
When overwhelmed, we are just that - Over Whelmed. We are out of regulation. We can’t make sense of things, because all our energy is going into just keeping it together in that moment, not having a public meltdown. In these moments, rational and logical interventions are less likely to be effective. So, an alternative is to “trip the circuit breaker” or go for a reset on the emotional experience. In more technical explanation, we are recalibrating the limits of our window of tolerance, and bringing ourselves back into regulation through a min/max experience.
What all that means, is in a moment of crisis, if you can remember to do this, or have someone else walk you through it, there is a good chance you’ll be able to get back to feeling in control. Here’s how it goes:
recognize that you are stressed, flooded, overwhelmed, however you label it, and recognize that you need to do something to feel better
remove yourself from the stressor if possible. Step away from the crowd, pause the argument. Try to find somewhere quiet, even if just for a few moments
take a deep breath, then let it all out, find the bottom of your exhale
now take a huge and full breath in, and squeeze your hands as tight as you can
hold for 2-3 seconds, then release the breath, and release the hands to about 80% tension
repeat this, each time squeezing the hands to 100%, then releasing 20% at a time. So in 5 breaths, you will release from 80, to 60, to 40, to 20, to 0. For reference, 100% is a tight fist, around 60% is your hand at neutral, and 0% is your hand flexed into full extension.
When you reach 0% (full extension) take a huge breath in, and squeeze everything tight. Your hands, toes, face, shoulders, core, etc. If you can, compress down into a little ball. Hold this for as long as you feel comfortable, at least 10 seconds if you can. Then let it all go
Shake your shoulders away from your ears, shake out the arms and legs, nod yes and no. Let the breath return to normal rate
Notice how you feel
You will likely notice that you feel more relaxed, at least maybe in control of the runaway train. We’ve done a few things here. We found the minimum stress and maximum stress of our system, which likely helped us feel more moderate. We used some controlled hypoxia to slow down the body systems. We signaled the brain to flood less stress chemicals into our bodies. We took a second to recalibrate.
Sure, the problem still likely exists. But now, hopefully, you feel more capable of dealing with it. In your window of tolerance, more centered in your wise mind, less in your automatic response system. Now you can deal with your problems with agency and choice, instead of reacting from stress.
Let me know if you found this exercise helpful, or if you have any questions on how to support this practice
